November 30, 2025

Something came over me as I lingered in the CVS parking lot trying to decide if I should continue with the day’s chores or take the Sunday evening off and head for a sunset walk at Fallen Leaf Lake. Looking for some encouragement, I texted Kristin, “Hey! Why don’t you get ready and we go for a sunset hike at fallen leaf?”

Turns out, she wanted to stay in.

Feeling the resistance building, I headed home to grab my camera, notebook, and a jacket for the cold.

Looking at my watch, I knew my timing was going to be just after sunset and without any clouds, the sky was going to be boring. In other words, a poor evening for a photo walk. Yet, for the past few months, I’ve been weighed down by my first home remodel and beyond stressed. When I say beyond stressed I mean I’ve got to the hospital three times for a stress induced rash which covers my body from head to toe.

Not pretty.

So, when I decided to pull my camera out and blow the dust off of it for the first time since September, I was reluctant.

At this point, my creativity with the camera has faded away. Ego has created a battle of internal dialogue that I “have to make money” when I pull my camera out instead of just enjoying the cha-chick of the shutter button whenever I feel like it.

While I am a professional photographer, filmmaker, and writer my career has always been focused on the craft of storytelling. I don’t have a trust-fund, so I do have to make money from my art, however money has never been the driving factor for my craft.

So, as simple as taking my camera out for a photo walk that will most likely never make me money may seem, this act has been a first step to reconnecting with my love for the craft of photography.

Walking to Fallen Leaf from the “local’s parking lot”, I was hoping for an epic solar flare with Mount Tallac in the background. This lake has a few dream shots I would like to create, but today was not the day for that. Today was just for fun.

Turning off my music and removing the earbuds, I wanted to hear the lake, the birds, the wind, and everything else.

Dogs barked.

Water sloshed.

Leaves rustled.

I looked for frames, but nothing was good enough for me to push my shutter button.

Wandering out onto some rocks, I figured I would get a different perspective, but nothing. Looking down in disappointment that I couldn’t find something epic. The rocks below the surface of the water caught my eye.

Without putting too much thought into it, I slowed my shutter speed down to 1/2 second and clicked the shutter as I zoomed in and out. Snapped 7 frames, hoping one would be in focus and look cool. Turns out, two of them were halfway decent.

As a glimpse of play returned to my finer tips, I hopped back to the shortline across the rocks which I came then started to look for something new. Ideally, a picture of Mount Tallac.

I tried.

I failed.

I tried again.

I flubbed.

I tried some more and figured I should move on. Nothing was really that great. So, I just walked and let my mind wander. Talking only to myself, I tried to relocate that joy I used to have years ago when all I did was walk around and take photos, admiring the stunning world we are blessed to live upon.

My smile started to return as the rocks crunched under my feet. Looking over my shoulder, I caught a glimpse of the moon shining bright. So, I zoomed my Tamron 28-200mm lens to its max, 200mm, and focused on the moon.

It was a boring frame.

In an attempt to spice it up, I put a tree in the foreground and clicked.

Not my best work, but something I might touch up later.

I had not realized just how deeply exhausted my creativity has become behind a camera. For the past 8.5 years, I have been honing my craft almost daily. However, the last three years have been a slog. My guy wants to blame the industry for not being very profitable or consistent, but the reality is, I lost the love for pushing myself behind the lens unless I was being paid.

For the last two years, I might have had 10, maybe 20, afternoons like this even walk along Fallen Leaf Lake.

A walk with the camera. No need to make money, just go out an click some frames to honor this beautiful place I call home.

If anyone is actually reading this and are thinking I am a troubled human, maybe slightly depressed, I would disagree. While I have lost my smile, for now, I know that deep down clicking the shutter button makes me very happy and writing little stories like this makes me even more happy.

I just need to give myself permission to do more photo walks and let me ego trip around making money go. Find the passion and love for telling stories for the sake of a good story. Not that this journal entry is a good story, but I think you know what I mean.

Those are the thoughts my ego conjures as I take these images fading into blue hour. A battle in the mind fueled by ego and complicated interwoven story of money and art.

For the last 10 years, my business has been profitable every year. I make an above average income and yet my ego is weirdly unsatisfied. Honestly, I have had an issue with my ego for as long as I can remember. Growing up, I excelled at swimming so much that I thought I had a chance of making Olympic trials. However, I didn’t like the human I had to be to swim at that level, so I gave up the dream to be on a team. That lead me to water polo. I was good, but not great. Meaning, I had no Olympic promise in me, but a good chance I could have played pro in Europe, if I didn’t tear my labrum in my shoulder. However, that forced break from water polo gave me the camera, writing, and a chance to retake my childhood dream of traveling the world and telling stories.

My mind races with each footstep around Fallen Leaf Lake. Recalling this past, reliving these past eight or so years of chasing my childhood dream, and recognizing in 2024 I had the privilege of traveling to every continent, above the arctic circle, and below the antarctic circle for storytelling assignments.

At 31, I accomplished my childhood dream.

All of this pulls at the ego as I try snapping images of an average lake under average light.

These are not the Pyramids of Giza or the Northern Lights, it’s the mundane. The beauty of nature as nature. Nothing grand and nothing subtle. Just nature being nature.

Maybe, I have just been too privileged these past few years. Or, maybe, the timing is just perfect.

Angora Peak framed by two stumps. I looked for a spot where branches, roots, or something could encircle Angora Peak and it’s reflection, but no luck. So, as I walked around the rocky beach of Fallen Leaf Lake, I settled for this final frame of the evening.

Clicking the shutter button a few more times, I continue navigating the northern shoreline of Fallen Leaf Lake with my camera. Part of me wishes one of these images were print worthy, but that is just ego talking.

Realizing my face stung from the cold air, I started heading back to the car and home.

Along the way, I snapped a few final frames, the one with the two stumps and Angora Peak in the background is my favorite of the entire evening.

But, along the way, a thought stuck me, “What if I did this every day?” This being a photo walk and short story.

My guess, I would start to regain that love I once had for unpaid outings with my camera and I would start having fun. So, here’s to giving it a shot.

I hope to publish a story a day everyday I am not production. If I can during production days, cool, but not a priority.

We shall see where it goes.

And, if anyone read this story to the end, thank you. If you want to go for a photo walk together sometime, send me an email: dalton@dalton-johnson.com

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