For as long as I can remember, I’ve hated not knowing. That could be not knowing a surprise is going to happen or not knowing something in a conversation. Regardless, not knowing really irritates me. So, when embarking on a road trip where the whole point is to embrace the unknown, you would think I would constantly be annoyed. Well, the contrary is true. Not knowing what is going to happen brings me joy, excitement, and that feeling of wonder that only comes when loosening the reins on life a little bit.

A family splash fight before hitting the road. Photograph by Dalton Johnson, follow him on Instagram.

Loosening the grip on the reins is hard for a control freak like myself and often sends me down a spiral of questions that my Mom has always coined as my “overthinking brain”. The questions would range from:

How will x get done?
Where will we sleep tonight?
What if y doesn’t happen?
Will I disappoint anyone, maybe myself, if z doesn’t come to fruition?
Will this make me go broke?
How much time is required and will that be worth it?
What is the opportunity cost of x over y?

The list continues. Each question leads to more questions and wormholes to explore. Most would of this comes from a desire to be perfect, however, I am not a perfectionist. There is time for perfection, like on a photoshoot for a client and delivering a written piece, but submitting a rough draft or an edit isn’t the time. A road trip isn’t the time either. Going camping doesn’t require perfection. However, free soloing El Capitan requires perfection. There is a difference and what all of this comes back to is learning together.

The goal of today was making the drive from Pettit Lake to City of Rocks, ID before dark. We made the drive just in time. Photograph by Dalton Johnson, follow him on Instagram.

This family road trip is more about learning how to live on the road together. For four years, I lived solo on a bicycle, in a car, a sketchy van, and this current van. Then Kristin and I lived in the current van for 2.5 years together. Now, we live in a house with a dog. So, hitting the road like the “good ole days” is now a learning lesson because we have a dog that enjoys rolling in dirt, needs lots of water, doesn’t like the heat, and takes up a lot of room considering he is roughly 60lbs. So, everyday is a new day as we learn, make rules, break the new rules, make different guidelines, and ultimately return to old ways.

Additionally, the business model of this road trip has been different than past trips. I have a few photo clients but overall the content created is an experiment to see how it would work.

The last 20 miles to City of Rocks cloaked in golden light. Photograph by Dalton Johnson, follow him on Instagram.

What is that experiment? Writing and sharing images daily from the trip. Yes, I have done this in the past, but never to this degree. Each article, or daily recap, has been a heavy lift, taking 3 to 4 hours because the process is such:

live the day to the fullest, capture images, and take notes
import images around dinner time
cull images, make selects for the story, edit, and export
outline the article, write the article, add the photos
ask Kristin to edit, hit publish
share on social media

That is no small night time task considering I still have other requirements like running a profitable freelance career, emails, meetings, finishing other projects, bidding on incoming jobs, and the typical daily tasks that come with the craft of being an artist for a living.

This balance has been a challenge considering I want to spend my evenings with Kristin and Chestnut. I want to sit by a campfire and enjoy some s’mores (sadly this has not happened all trip). I want to make money and maintain a “successful” career.

Hence, the need to loosen the reins a little bit and learn what I can balance.

Kristin excitingly taking in the cotton candy clouds after the sun set and we made it to our campsite for the night. Photograph by Dalton Johnson, follow him on Instagram.

At the end of the day, life is a marathon of learning, unlearning, and relearning what is going to work for us as an individual. It is road trips like this vanlife road trip that open the doors to reflection and growth. Having the time to sit with our thoughts is a luxury in this information age and I am incredibly grateful for the clients who are willing to support a trip like this and all of the readers, like yourself, who make their way through these articles. You all are part of my journey and growth. So, thank you for being here and coming along for the journey.

The next article will return to more of a recap style, unless I get a ton of feedback that a story like this was more impactful and helpful for you all as readers.